Fragile; Broken.

Fragile; she stood there.

Broken; she hid the scars.

Green eyes gleam from beneath blonde curls

dirty strands flitting across a smeared face

oil stained; translucent skin glows

Bones poking from her naked body.

Fragile; she stands in shame.

Broken; she hides the memories.

Huddled against her ribs

Merely a toothpick for prey

She watches for the movement in you

she waits for you to save her

Her filthy fingers circling her hip

her nails scratching away his scent

Fragile; she will stand in wait.

Broken; she will hide her need.

Forgotten amongst the wilderness

A corpse lays against the foot of some branches

mouth agape and naked.

Her eyes remain open; her green eyes killed.

a dead stare at the sky

still watching as every dream takes off without her

leaving her scummed limbs to wrap around her knees.

Fragile; she remained hopeful.

Broken; she kept on hiding.

Broken Guarded

Deceivingly strong hands

so soft

so graceful

capable of destruction

t e a r i n g my soul apart

y a n k i n g me from the seams

t y i n g me in knots

seductively unravelling

every hidden [guarded]

belief

sending me into a dive

losing control

on a wave of emotion.

tears fall.. your eyes

piecing me back together

throwing me a lifeline

collecting my debris

your sentiments becoming my glue

yet still...

I step uncertainly

not knowing

not wanting to know

what comes next

shards of everything

[I once knew]

poking through my skin

protecting me [guarding]

from all that has yet to come

Mismatching fragments

rebuilt

with matching figments

lopsided with concern

crippled with fear.

s i l e n t l y

I transform

yielding to extremes

too fragile

too strong

too hurt

too confident

[too broken]

Inna - Hot (True Love Video Edit) (On Ultra Dance 11 out now)

Could really use a wish right now..

Acidic fingernails

scratching layers

peeling

familiarity

in sheets

from defeat

and oblivion.

Glitter falls

in rain drops

Glistening

yet murky.

Unclear

yet still

so needed.

Stained fingertips

Stoke fires

Curling

everything

around delicate knuckles

plucking nothing

from thickened air.

Pushed

off the side.

Clinging

from the ledge.

Stubborn.

Not wanting to let go.

Not knowing what's coming.

Not ready to change.

Needing wings,

yet without an ability

to fly.

Almost...

My fingers spread

[Intrepid in their confidence]

each digit contentedly making room

for a hand that's only almost there.

The unfilled spaces shooting daggers

Aimed straight at my chest.

Silky calves glide across soft cotton sheets

[seductively wanting your touch]

Knees bending upwards seeking comfort

from a body that's only almost there.

Cold shivers erupting a loneliness

Gripping blankets for warmth.

Conversations orbit my mind

[enthralling and familiar]

The ebb and flow of sarcasm

from a voice only almost there.

Dream-like perfection stinging

In the reality of a hallucination.

Goosebumps emerge on bare skin

[Milk white and needy]

A shudder in anticipation

For fingertips that are only almost there

Frustration building- controlling

A building ache for attention.

Eyes dart across every crowd

[Excitedly hoping that maybe...]

searching for a face;

A person that's only almost there.

Disappointment squeezing my insides

until I remind myself to smile.

F a l l i n g

into dreams where

skin touches

whispers tickle

and

kisses never end

fingers drape

touches linger

and

eyes meet.

W a k i n g

to find

I have it all -

almost.

[so close to perfect]

Getting lost in sheets

Waiting for an almost eventuality.

Indulging in a single fantasy

[Hoping against inevitability]

Tomorrow

when I open my eyes to see you

You won't only be almost here.

These days...

Sometimes it is as if, no matter what I have going on, something bigger is on it's way. I live such an unpredictable life, that it is no wonder that I am going crazy right now. My life went from being on the right path, to not being on any sort of path at all. It seems as though all I do these days is work and wait. I am waiting for something to happen, constantly. I am waiting for medical tests, scared to death of the answer and I'm waiting for Diego to call me and let me know what the hell is going on. I try my hardest to keep everyone happy. I try to be the daughter my mother wants. I try to be a good friend, a good worker, a good sister, a good girlfriend. I try so hard, that as soon as I let anything slip even slightly, I become tormented with guilt.

I'm running into friends I went to school with who have started their chosen careers. Teachers, Scientists and Accountants. Here I am, with two failed courses and back living at home. It's depressing to feel like such a failure every day of your life. It's difficult knowing you had the world at your fingertips and yet still have nothing to show for it.

I'm at the stage where I want to pack up and leave.

Leave the world behind.