Sometimes it is as if, no matter what I have going on, something bigger is on it's way. I live such an unpredictable life, that it is no wonder that I am going crazy right now. My life went from being on the right path, to not being on any sort of path at all. It seems as though all I do these days is work and wait. I am waiting for something to happen, constantly. I am waiting for medical tests, scared to death of the answer and I'm waiting for Diego to call me and let me know what the hell is going on. I try my hardest to keep everyone happy. I try to be the daughter my mother wants. I try to be a good friend, a good worker, a good sister, a good girlfriend. I try so hard, that as soon as I let anything slip even slightly, I become tormented with guilt.
I'm running into friends I went to school with who have started their chosen careers. Teachers, Scientists and Accountants. Here I am, with two failed courses and back living at home. It's depressing to feel like such a failure every day of your life. It's difficult knowing you had the world at your fingertips and yet still have nothing to show for it.
I'm at the stage where I want to pack up and leave.
Leave the world behind.
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