Demons.

My demons tend to get me when I am at my weakest. They crawl out of the woodwork and they hound me until I am ready to give up altogether. It's like they are slowly tearing muscle from bone, tendons snapping under the pressure of their claws and bursting my blood vessels until my brain is incapable of being logical. I can't stand the thoughts that pour through me, so much that I lay paralysed; tears streaming down my face and praying for sleep.

I slowly turn inwards, forgetting everything that is around me until I end up pushing it all away in a pseudo retaliation. I forget that they can't feel the things I feel, they can't hear the things I hear and they can't see the things I see. I forget that they have no idea what is going on in my messed up mind and then I am left where I started myself off; alone.

I am entirely sure that I have destroyed things. I am entirely sure that I have built myself up to a crescendo of devastation that there is nowhere left to go from here and it bothers me to see the sadness that lives behind my eyes right now. I forget this can happen. I am so numb from everything 99% of the time, that I forget that the extremes of my mood still exist, that they are merely waiting to express themselves when I am too weak to fight them off.

I honestly am my own worst enemy.