Faith

Finger tips slip helplessly from afar;

A dagger shedding moments of hysteria.

Nowhere is there such a gripping hold

than right where I am laying my head.

Lullabies of Genocide and cartoons of disaster

missing my body by inches

Strength in numbers protected by angels

Belief in what only might be.

Faith grows stronger with every new second

Bibles burning ferociously beside us

A glide of the yesterdays that haunt our lives

Obliterated by a glow of power.

Crosses hang melancholy backwards and askew

A society which neglects to notice

when shoeless feet tread shards of economy

There is nothing to blame but ourselves.

While we look for escapes of the reality we have

Blaming what we don't understand

Tiny miracles occur unnoticed

Salvation for one hopeless soul

Hate burns wildly in the eyes of the messenger

Red pupils spitting fragments of ignorance

Put down your gun the message is flawed

Chinese whispers don't warrant a bullet

Huge picket sins and screeching letters

Decorate the roads in protest

Of what we can't change in who we are

Nor want to become in the future

It is not what belief is supposed to be

when the wind whistles by in no judgement

When kisses are laid with such tender approach

how far must it go to be seen?

Clouds of desire and true adoration

buckling the argument of hindsight

Tomorrow's victory can only achieve

one more silent but perfect miracle.

Daybreak

Milk bottle squeals

to last minute groans

of blown out candles;

wax dripping helplessly into

puddles.

Greying feathers

upon a dried up arch

haphazardly edging outwards

fuelling the bristles of

bushes.

Immaculate days

brought to light on

the wings

of juggling residues;

Shooting Jupiter with beams of

laughter.

Sworn out faces

clouded in masks of wool

and glitter

Beckoning a demon of

ignorance.

Anonymous plays

on the brow of intelligence

regurgitating vowels;

cess-pits of

humiliation.

Here We Are Again..

I am back to how I always have been. I have my anger back, I have my laugh back and I have the need to be with her firmly gripping my being. I can't not think about her. I can't sit and pretend that she isn't on my mind when in reality there is nothing else on my mind. She consumes every second of every minute and I am quite happy to allow it. I am completely happy with knowing that for as long as I can sit and think, I can sit and think of her.

I need this. I need this desire. It reminds me that I am still real at times. It keeps me in the knowledge that I still exist, that I can still feel and that I haven't allowed myself to numb to the emotional warfare that takes place on the planet on a daily basis. I tried for so long to avoid it that to need it has become a huge shock to the system.

I have done some regrettable things. I have acted out against the feelings but I have recognised it as wrong and fixed it. I am so lost in everything that I want that I have forgotten not to hope. I have forgotten broken promises and empty desire. I have washed away the filth of what has happened in the past and I get excited at the prospect of tomorrow.

I have bad days. I have days where I want nothing more than to walk away, but painfully, she comes to me and I am once again reduced to knowing I couldn't ever just walk away. I am helpless to everything that she stands for and every day I try to live up to the expectation and perfection she deserves. I am nowhere near but I am not done trying.

I am back.

I have my thoughts back.

I have my words back.

I won't let the doubts of others become mine.